Dear nycgirl, i know the pain of loneliness and isolation. what's so terrible is that it starts inside us, and no one outside can actually cure it. oh, it helps to be around understanding people, like taking the drugs and drinking, but the real problem is inside our own heads. until i found some way to be at peace with my own thoughts and feelings, i was never happy for long. that's not to say that you can't get help from other people, you can, if you reach out for it and if you are fortunate enough to find trustworthy helpers. i was that fortunate, that when i made the decision inside myself, that helpers appeared. i believe that is some kind of 'life-lesson', one that the responder from AA found as well, tho s/he didn't actually say so. i hope you will try to come to chats with us, and that you will find empathetic friends. Gus