Thanks for taking he time to respond ((((feary)))) ((((Byz)))) ((((CJR)))) ((((roshall)))),

Dear feary I do understand how you feel, and I also know that it is somewhat comforting to you that there is someone who not just understands but really empathises with you because they've been through it.

Dear Byz thanks for your support it really is appreciated and I hope I can really support you in turn

Dear roshall, thanks for your input it does make sense, but the parts within me are very real and very argumentative and forceful about what they want. It takes all my strength to stop them from shouting out in public; it's as if theres a fight going on internally all the time for one of them to be "out" and in control. I feel split into several pieces; and we are having conversations in my head about so much different stuff.

The anxiety feels like it's just me...If I can explain that...The other people feel as if they are in control at peace (even though they are hollering to get out), and I am the one who worries and gets anxious for all of us, or because of them?.

This anxiety is like I am totally unable to pinpoint what I am anxious about. It is impossible for me to communicate person to person, thats my partner and IM, the phone or any other way.

I'm unable to read that much because I can't focus long enough the agitation gets too much and the chronic neck and back pain, and frozen shoulder pain is just too strong for me to ignore and always stops me from concentration as well.

But thank you, you have given me something to think about...maybe it is the fact that my mum pushed me to fail and set me up to fail with all of her negative comments and insults; I was lousy at math (but advanced honours with science they couldn't work that out...eventually I was found to have dyscalcula and very mild dyslexia)
Anyhoo I'll think on what you so generously took the time to write, thank you