I do not believe anyone here can answer your question. You are role-playing. Your wife and to a certain extent your children have agreed to play the roles assigned to them. Perhaps your wife helps you define your role to better fulfill the needs of the family.

You speak in terms of creating a reality. If you wife is unhappy, you may need to create a better reality. If you do not play your role well enough, your wife may leave. She likely will grieve and you will not.

This may be superfluous. I added it to see if I could get a better grasp of how you control your world.

• 1. (3) compulsion, irresistible impulse -- (an urge to do or say something that might be better left undone or unsaid; ``he felt a compulsion to babble on about the accident'' )
• 2. (1) compulsion, obsession -- (an irrational motive for performing trivial or repetitive actions, even against your will; ``her compulsion to wash her hands repeatedly'' )
• 3. (1) compulsion, coercion -- (using force to cause something to occur; ``though pressed into rugby under compulsion I began to enjoy the game"; "they didn't have to use coercion'' )

I do not understand you coerce your wife to stay with you. Since you do not feel, whether a motive is rational is irrelevant.

Sense 1

urge, impulse -- (an instinctive motive; ``profound religious impulses'' )

• motivation, motive, need -- (the psychological feature that arouses an organism to action toward a desired goal; the reason for the action; that which gives purpose and direction to behavior; ``we did not understand his motivation"; "he acted with the best of motives'' )
• life -- (a motive for living; ``pottery was his life'' )
• rational motive -- (a motive that can be defended by reasoning or logical argument)
• irrational motive -- (a motivation that is inconsistent with reason or logic)
• urge, impulse -- (an instinctive motive; ``profound religious impulses'' )
• ethical motive, ethics, morals, morality -- (motivation based on ideas of right and wrong)
• psychic energy, mental energy -- (an actuating force or factor)

Sense 2

caprice, impulse, whim -- (a sudden desire; ``he bought it on an impulse'' )

• desire -- (the feeling that accompanies an unsatisfied state)
• ambition, aspiration, dream -- (a cherished desire; ``his ambition is to own his own business'' )
• bloodlust -- (a desire for bloodshed)
• temptation -- (the desire to have or do something that you know you should avoid; ``he felt the temptation and his will power weakened'' )
• craving -- (an intense desire for some particular thing)
• wish, wishing, want -- (a specific feeling of desire; ``he got his wish"; "he was above all wishing and desire'' )
• longing, yearning, hungriness -- (prolonged unfulfilled desire or need)
• sexual desire, eros, concupiscence, physical attraction -- (a desire for sexual intimacy)
• urge, itch -- (a strong restless desire; ``why this urge to travel?'' )
• caprice, impulse, whim -- (a sudden desire; ``he bought it on an impulse'' )

My thought is that sense 2 is a better fit. Yet, in terms of what I understand, both senses are deficient.