You can't get clean or you won't get clean, Storm? There's a fine line between the two. I went 10 months without using because I WANTED sobriety and did whatever I had to do to achieve sobriety. I went to meetings, I talked to people online who could help, I read and listened to things dealing with NA, hell I even got to the point of dreaming things about NA sometimes. But then I got lazy. I started slacking off from my meetings. I started making excuses such as I didn't have the gas money to go to a meeting that day or I'd go to two meetings the next day to make up for the meeting I missed this day, etc, etc... My desire to stay clean and sober decreased and my desire to use increased. My excuses to miss meetings and stay home became the excuses of why I stayed high and didn't go to meetings.

I'm STILL trying to pull my act together. I'm still struggling to stay clean and I'll probably struggle until the day I die, but one thing I know for sure is that when I feel the urge to use, there's no room for excuses as to why I can't go to a meeting... I HAVE to go to a meeting if I get that urge or more than likely, I'm going to give into that urge and use. Sobriety isn't about talking about what you want your life to be. Sobriety is about showing action on what you want your life to be.

As Richard said, the pain you are suffering is a blessing. But as long as you are sitting back and only wishing to go to a meeting instead of actually going to one, the pain will only increase. The pain can and will stop whenever you want it to, Storm. Tell your parents, go to a meeting. It can be done. I'm 18 (will be 19 Nov 4th), started going to meetings when I was 17. I know it can be done.