my therapist and i talk about tools to use in times of crisis. self-soothing, journaling, trying to see shades of gray instead of everything as black or white. she brought to my attention how i change subjects when things start getting uncomfortable. it surprised me just how often i do that. most of the time i'm not aware i'm doing it, i've become so good at it. of course, avoidance only perpetuates the problem. it would be more productive to confront problems and resolve them instead of ignoring them.