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when a cop or a child dies or is killed everyone makes a big deal why? its not like its they are relatives and there is nothing that can really be done. they always brings gifts or flowers or light candles i dont see why its just a waste of time . i doubt it will dull the pain the persons that should cares pain.
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I think people relate to the others' pain and feel a need to be part of the comforting. It is also a feeling of being part of the fabric that makes up our community. If we feel a part of that, then I think we feel for the other members too.
I don't always care. I too sometimes think it seems odd that total strangers are attempting to be part of the grieving that should be private and I wonder who is really being comforted. And if that feels like an extra burden to the family members that are grieving.