Hi there,

I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling right now. I have had success in dealing with my OCD intrusive thoughts, which paralyzed me with fear for quite a while, and caused 3 hospitalizations.

What my psychologist and I did was ERP (exposure response prevention), which is where you basically EXPOSE yourself to your fears, bit by bit, until you no longer feel anxiety towards them. For example, I feared that I would kill a worker in the hospital, so I avoided him and did rituals and punished myself with SI...but my psychologist got me to be around the worker more, to prove that I wasn't homicidal. It was a slow process, this exposure, but eventually I wasn't afraid anymore, and I knew I wasn't really homicidal, they were just intrusive thoughts!

I also did meditation, thinking about the thoughts that feared me for short periods of time at first, but then grew to longer periods of time. Soon I could think of my fears and be OK!

I wish you the best of luck.