You may be a redneck if...




they have to call the police to your funeral.



Yes I am serious.

My grandmother died two weeks ago. She was 94 years old and had Alzheimers. I will miss her but I know she was suffering because her mind was so confused.

My grandmother had a large family. She had 11 children, 24 grandchildren, 35 great-grandchildren and 4 great-great-grandchildren. Some of my family are strange. Well okay most of the family.

One of my cousins gets the prize though. She was in a vehicular accident several years ago and had a head injury and it has really affected her mind. She broke into my grandmother's house to steal a deviled egg plate that she had given to my grandmother as a gift. She has been in trouble with the law numerous times. The day my grandmother died she crawled under my mom's house wearing camouflage and a ski mask and cut the phone wires and then carried away a rocking chair down the hill. We think she may have mistakenly thought it was grandmother's chair.

We worried that she might make a scene at the funeral. She did. When she arrived at the funeral home she went directly to her father who is in a wheelchair and always on oxygen and she started yelling at him because he was at the funeral but he had not gone to her son's hs graduation. A couple of my aunts put their arms around her to protect my uncle and she bit one aunt and stomped the other in the leg. The police said if they took her to jail they would have to take the people who restrained her too and the magistrate would have to sort it out. So the police just told her to leave the premises and not to go to the burial site or they would arrest her.

I TOLD you guys my family is strange.