Can't sleep. A friend is staying over at my house but she has been slowly driving me nuts. Tonight she said something really hurtful and dumb to me. It was supposed to be a joke but it was a put down. I am just SO SICK of being in relationships with people who want to be dominant and aggressive. I used to be a more passive person and just let things slide by. And while I can't do that anymore... I also hate conflict. I hate the thought that I'm going to have to wake up tomorrow and tell her I was Pi**d off by what she said. But there are other things too. She just refuses to grow up. She is in pain and depressed but won't take responsibility for her problems (to go get help). I have always been one to try to offer suggestions. She doesn't want help, yet she goes on about her problems. It is exhausting being with someone who is in pain but also in denial. I just want to say to her "call me when you're in therapy."
All in all I just want to go back into my shell. Being with other people always ends up wearing me out. I sometimes think it would just be so much better to be a recluse. I feel so angry and awful. I can hardly take care of myself ...so I can't be there for other people if they aren't going to even care about themselves.