((((((((((Sunny)))))))))

when I read the article you quoted, I didn't see it as saying "people shouldn't have needs", I read it as "you shouldn't rescue people as as therapist" (although I don't think he said it very well, or with very much compassion)

I know, KNOW, that I am allowed to have needs, and to have T meet those needs. Like you, before therapy, I honestly, truly didn't even know that I had needs. T helped me discover that it is okay if I need something, and it is okay if I have that need met. Some of the needs T helps me with are: needing someone to witness my story, needing to learn containment, needing to be heard, needing a quiet place to gather my thoughts every week, needing to know that I am lovable and worth caring for.

T won't "rescue" me; if I were to ask him what to DO about something specific, he would direct me to my own inner wisdom, he would ask questions to help me think it through, but he wouldn't tell me "do this". He won't call to check on me, no matter what is going on, but if I call and ask to be heard, he will always call back and listen. He won't guess at my needs, but he will meet them if I ask to have them met (and if he CAN meet them).

It sounds like you are worrying about whether you "deserve" to go to therapy, to have needs, to be heard, to be cared for. You do. It doesn't HAVE to be trauma, divorce, etc....we can get support as we learn and grow and change, and it's okay.

Those are my thoughts anyway