Why is it that everybody stereotypes mentally ill people? Being mentally ill doesn't make me stupid. I was told recently when I was talking about wanting to start working in critical care again that I should look for an easy desk job. I don't want a freaking easy job, I want to make a difference in the world. My RN board score was in the top 1% of RN candidates in 1986 and I didn't get stupid when I developed PTSD.

And once I was talking to a therapist after a group therapy session and she said, you should hurry so you don't miss the bus. I said, I drove my car. She looked at me in amazement and said, you can drive? Uuuummm, yeah, I can drive and I even used to drive an ambulance sometimes when I was a paramedic. Duh!

And my current problem - mentally ill people are always addicts and drug seekers. Ask a doctor for some pain meds and try to convince him that mentally ill people have pain like everybody else. In 2009 my family physician gave me a prescription for tylenol with codeine. I got 30 tablets at the end of February 2009 and I tried to make them last. I took my last one a week ago. So 30 pills lasting over a year - not much of an addict I think. But I called my doctor's office Friday and told his nurse that I needed some pain meds. I explained to her that I have no dental insurance for ten years and I have been driving six hours round trip to a school of dentistry because student dentists are much cheaper than licensed dentists. I explained to her that the students will not be in school until August 23 and my student told me the last time he saw me I probably need a root canal. I just wanted enough pain meds to use until Aug 23. The nurse said she would tell the doctor. I checked Friday evening and he had not called any prescriptions into the pharmacy. Nor did I get a phone call from his office to say that he would not order meds.

He has been my family physician for about ten years. I don't ask for meds if I don't need them. I have a pretty good tolerance to pain but I would like to have some so I can sleep without waking up from the pain. I am going to call the office Monday and ask the status of my prescription. If he refuses to prescribe something I think I will fire him. If he can't help me when I need him there is no point to keeping him, right?

Another thing that bugs me about him - I started taking metformin in 2007 for my diabetes or prediabetes, whatever you want to call it. So the last time that I saw him in the summer of 2009 I asked him if I could get a glucometer to check my glucoses at home. He said, you don't have one?, assuming I already was checking them. (My Pdoc was the one who started me on the metformin). So my family physician wrote me a prescription for a glucometer and I submitted it and the company called his office to get authorization for the glucometer. I got a voice mail from his office nurse saying I don't have diabetes and my glucoses and A1c were normal. So I was wondering if she was saying that my glucoses/A1c were normal prior to 2007 or normal now that I am taking metformin. I was thinking if she means they are normal now then that means the metformin is helping. Then a week later she called and left another voice mail saying I don't have diabetes I have hypoglycemia. What? Then why am I taking metformin? So I bought the glucometer with my own money and thought I would talk to my doctor at my next visit and ask what the heck. But I haven't been back to see him since last summer.

Is it just me or is something awry?



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