aaah feary, it's so clear from here, that you are stuck in your feelings. if you could bring yourself to try answering those thoughts of fear and worry in a life affirming way; if you could only believe that:

I am not my thoughts; I am not my feelings; I am not my body; I am living in the eternal now, and at this moment I am safe and there are people who love me, and someday I will love me again, too.

I know from experience that hearing a message like this will not change life for you. That is something that only you can do. But I hope it helps to hear these things said over and over by people who only wish you well. {{{{{ Wishing you well }}}}} Gus