Quote:
Originally Posted by Innerzone
The last couple of days especially has been the return of spells of those...pangs, I guess you could call them, where dread, futility and isolation are seeping in from the sides. I'm always afraid that means going somewhere, and not a good place. Also have had substantive anxiety and some degree of visions of demise. Also wishing it could be like in the cartoons -- get clubbed on the head and knocked out to not have to deal with being me.
|
I've been there. And where my memory is bad and everything feels all jumbled in my brain and I just wish to be knocked out unconscious because nothing feels right. The futility thing always comes in when I'm depressed. I have no idea how to find meaning again when it all seems so pointless and I get more and more isolated from the world into my own inner pain.
I hope when you seen the NP that he or she can get you on some meds to help control these symptoms. Whatever you're currently on doesn't sound like the right combo. I have visions of my demise too. It's always ugly and invasive. But now I'm on a good combo and I don't think about death hardly at all. In time, I believe, things will get better for you. I hope you can hold on until then. Do whatever you need to do to stay safe and feel better. Only you know what that is. Rooting for you in the meantime.
