Vj, thanks for the sympathy and understanding. I know how your feeling, alone with no one to lean on. Told my tdoc something like that in one of our last sessions and it is proving to be true. IDK how helpful it is for you to know your not the only one experiencing that but know that you are.

I just NEED to talk to her so bad, just that understanding, intelligent sympathetic response I know I'd get..... Knowing she is gone from me forever but not dead deals such a huge blow to my self esteem I cant even begin to talk to others (irl) about anything I feel or think... Feels so alienating... I am a Purple Pikmen in a world of other colored ones....

Zooie, so glad to hear you are feeling better, just dont forget that just like the bad moods eventually pass so too do the good ones... It is a roller coaster and try not to let yourself get down on yourself if it doesnt last.

Ty for your support as well, I do go to a State facility and how I got diagnosed. There are supposed to be resources to help with getting the meds free/cheap but when I spoke to the lady she told me it'd still be $6 a rx and with about 4 of them plus the Ativan which ISNT covered I still cant afford them. I have applied for SSDI and am awaiting my first decision. How hard was it for you to get on? My Advocate says I have a strong case but everyone else keeps telling me its hard and could take 2 denials and many years. Well I dont have many years to wait, I need support now. (My living situation is getting harder and harder to deal with as well)

If I could just get approved I could get Medicade and be able to get my rx's and possibly housing as well.... I would be a godsend and go a long way towards helping me to not commit suicide (as is my ultimate intention..)

Anyways, whatever, I suppose what will be will be....