I used that smiley, without caring what its name was, because it seemed to express my feelings towards professionals not being careful in words they use to describe things. I need that precision. Or needed it more in the past when I was less sure of my own ideas. I am not familiar with the term non-judgemental listening as a therapy technique. Actually, I am quite tired of all the different "techniques" that are supposed to mean something but I can't see what that something is that makes it succeed while all others don't. To me, judging can mean making an assessment, or making an assessment which is loaded with an emotional tinge which is alleged to belong to the one assessed, rather than recognized as an emotion in the assessor.

For instance: jerk. That implies that the person to whom that is applied "is" a jerk, a bad person. As opposed to the person making the judgement feeling something that he doesn't like about the "jerk" but not recognizing where the feeling comes from, and that the feeling is in him, not the "jerk". Would you want a therapist who thought you were a "jerk". Without realizing that he was having some problems of his own? Would you want a political leader with similar tendencies? Are there consequences to these things?

Well, obviously this kind of thing is a problem I have; maybe others don't have it. I reacted very badly to my mother's continuous assessment of me (and my brothers) as rotten people.

sunny, I guess it is related to your being put off balance by a "counselor" remarking about "needy" "sucking" people.