I'm thinking on safety, in particular my emotional and psychological safety online. Opening this thread for discussion to see what folks think, generate some ideas and inspirations.

So these thoughts of mine are rough draft style, I don't have anything polished yet.

I need to be careful to remember my offline boundaries when I am online. In the past I've acted online as if I am in some sort of dream world where everything is safe and equal. And when I got into troubles, I kept trying to "work things out" with the person I was having difficulties with, rather than knowing to take some time off, re-examine, regain perspective.

Sometimes trying to work things out online can be effective, sometimes not. Sometimes I was simply recreating old unhealthy patterns for myself.

So. Okay. I'm online, reading forums, and say a particular post gets to me. I read it a certain way, I am bothered, upset, mad. After awhile, all this mad bothered upset tends to cluster round the same nicks for me.

I could insist that -they- are the ones to blame. I could fuss with them, engage them, and insist that they change.

But maybe I am misunderstanding their posts and intent. Or maybe they are being mean, but by stepping in front of them and offering myself as a target, I'm not achieving my ultimate goal here. Which is first for me to be safe, while I find support and share support.

If I persist in focus on whatever -blank- is doing, I am losing sight of my purpose here.

Of course if things get way out of hand, and I've checked myself, reviewed things, gotten some distance, and it is still bad, I can talk to admins etc.

The other thing I can do, and really do need to do when I am all triggered by forums, is to take a break. And focus on myself.

So those are some prelim thoughts, discussion welcome.


Sarah