I hope you are doing ok.....and offer the warmest of hugs....and want you to know I only asked that question so that you could apply the answer to your life now....and don't have to consider the thought in retrospect.I have a friend w/ your disorder whomI adore and will never give up on.Just keep in mind you have no power to change anything thats BEEN done ...but every opportunity to choose differently as situations arise.Again...what you suffer ...is not your fault.So please dont beat yourself up!