thanks guys....ya, I'm happy and I'm relax at the same time....I'm not worry....I don't think about future too much....I used to kill myself by thinking about what if this happens or that happens.....now everything is so new to me....

I just feel like I'm on the ocean and I let the waves to let me to the shore....
There is no point to make myself exhausted over negative thinking or thinking in general, because what is going to happen will happen anyway....If I fuel my fragile thoughts, then they will drag me into the darkness....I don't want to stay in the darkness anymore.....

I even got promised from myself, if it didn't work out with him, I would not give up hope, I will continue looking.....

love you all
marjan