I have a good online friend that i love a lot..and i`m in love with. We have been very close on and off, never met in real life and talked a lot about deep stuff..singing, spirituality and our inner world. We are pretty alike in our interest in all that. and even in our life... generally...

Yesterday i sent him text message his cell phone. asking if he wants to come talk on Skype.

He told me : "I would love to talk to you but i am out. if you want to can call me to this number."

I came to my phone at home but it didn`t work...

so he told me "o.k call me whenever you like/can"

I wrote him: " to Skype when you are home"

He asked me what time is it where i am.

It was 11 PM...

I told him that i was going to stay up late.

He said "Really? I`ll be out late so it will have to be another time"

i was relatively disappointed because it was a week since our last talk, when he said "i would like to keep in touch with you forever"

I wrote him something that now i regret writing:

"Ugh! I don`t mind getting up but if you don`t feel like it then another time"

He responded with: " o.k we`ll see then i will let you know"

He didn`t call in the end...either did not want to wake me up or came when it was already late his time, was real tired and went to bed.

So now i wonder is it...well...maybe i should have not written
"I don`t mind getting up " ?


...because i know that none of my friends including him wouldn`t get up from sleep JUST to talk to me...so why should i be exposing it to them?

Have i lost my dignity....?