Hi Marjan the photo with the bubbles is actually me LOL. Louis was asking for pics and I was playing around with my new laptop.. it has a heap of cool options hehe.

Okay so Louis is back today.... He rang last night (okay so he rings on skype every night) and he is so excited that he will get to see me... so why don't I actually feel overly excited? I should be. BUT when I think about it I am probably being protective of myself and just pushing happy feelings down so not to get hurt if it doesn't work out...

I never used to be like this... hate Mark for making me doubt my feelings, for making me so protective of myself that i can't enjoy everything that I should.... for doing what he did to me and breaking my trust..

on the woo hoo side - louey is back today and I hope that when I see him I will feel the same as I did 4 weeks ago....