i have been up for awhile i mean hypomanic. im dropping. sinking. i dont want to go down. being up i can handle i have to watch what i do what i say but im learning how to do that but when im down i dont have that. watching what i do and ssay isnt possible i usually dont say much when im down but when i do its always so negative so dreary. my spirit is covered in darkness. i know thats not me *sigh* me is the up the talkative productive energetic slightly erratic funny person. hypomanic is me. i may spend i may be irritable i may be slightly over the top so to speak but when im down im nothing. im intolerable to myself i feel worthless unloved i want it to go away it never will. i have to accept that. after all these years of the ups and downs you would think i would have gotten used to it but i dont think one ever does