no, actually, it's not. It feels horrible. It feels like a violation. It feels worse than I could ever have imagined it would feel, and I spent a lot of time imagining some pretty rotten feelings.

I feel physically ill at the thought of seeing or speaking to my T ever again. It makes me want to vomit. I can't quit thinking about her eyes, looking at me while I spoke. Just her, just sitting there, just looking. It's like the worst kind of voyeurism imaginable.