Well his vacation is over and he's back to work. I really believe that my unhappiy marriage is a big part of my depression. I felt great for a few days after my trip, but it's back to the same, old same old.

I'm sure my past has alot to do with it, but my so called relationship only compounds my depression and anger issues. Everytime that I have lost control I ended up being hospitalized. AND I DEFFINATELY DON'T want to go to that dark and frightening place.

My H deffinately has issues but refuses to even consider the possibility that he could be the problem. It's all my fault, and he is never wrong, never appologizes for anything, and is very controlling but in a very sneaky way. He expect everything to be done for him.

I use to jump, when ever he wanted something. But not anymore! I stopped cooking full course meals for him to take to work for lunch. In fact I barely cook at all anymore. I use to love to cook, and not bad at either, but his demanding has taken the joy out of it.

My depression has gotten so bad that I stopped doing anything at all for him, you think he would get the hint that something is wrong. He actually said out of blue one night, "I don't think your depressed, depressed people don't laugh!", we were watching Funniest Home Videos. If it weren't for my pets I wouldn't even get out of bed. There must be an inch of dust around the house. I'm just so overwhelmed by everything that I just sit on the couch watching TV or on my computer.

My home use to be very neat and tidy, everything in it's place. Now it looks like ......****. Because he's a slob on top of everything else.
I put off doing anything, until I no choice. Does any of this make any sense, I feel like I'm just rambling. I feel like, why bother nothing is appreciated anyway. I'm the woman of the house and it is expected of me. Well I just can't do it anymore!
I'm so tired of picking up after him like he was a 2 yr. old, he never says thank you for anything, and makes sure i know that he did something, like clean up the bathroom sink. Or wash the floor, like it was a favor or something. He uses everything as much or more than I do he should clean up after himself.

Well enough of my complaining, going to bed it's 1 am again.