Life really isn't important to me. I don't believe that I have any purpose, and I feel like my even being here was a mistake, something SomeOne overlooked in the accounting somewhere.

But I have a deep fear of failing an attempt to end it, especially because I obviously wasn't too successful in the past...
Failing, to me, just seems like a big inconvenience, especially being sent to an institution against my will for doing something that the government says is wrong but I feel should be a personal choice - and then I have to walk around w/this socially unacceptable lable & everyone would talk in hushed tones behind my back about my 'condition' & their eyes would roll around nervously in my presence as though I was an emotional time-bomb.