Zoo, I know last night was hard for you. Let yourself feel the YUCK that comes because you talked about the YUCK. I always HATED the "day after" trauma session work. I hated the way my T looked at me silently while I spoke. He would even make sounds like "hmmmmm" or a drawn out "yahhhh" - Logically I KNEW he was just supporting me and he did care. But the sounds set me off inside and made me feel like he was getting a kick out of my details. That is NOT him at all. But my past trauma taught me to see things in that way. UGGGG!!!!!! So playing the session over and over in my mind was like getting abused over and over and over again.

The only way I made it through that part was to force myself to understand where the pain was rooted - in the abuse. And T had to remind me that I was going through the pain and had to experience the grief of the things.

Stay safe and be VERY gentle with yourself.