oh (((((((((Zoo))))))))))))

I had exactly this feeling at one point. I remember crying angry tears and telling T how much I hated him sitting there staring at me while I went through so much pain and fear and shame. Yuck.

I know I sound like a broken record and that it's probably hard to believe me, but it really WON'T feel like this forever. ALL of these feelings are what we have to go through to heal. The fear, shame, yuck, anger...all of it. It feels terrible - that's why we pushed it away for so many years. Bringing it into the open seems unbearable. But it's not unbearable. You are getting through it right now. As awful as it is, you are doing it.

My T used to tell me sometimes when I was at my lowest points "you'll never have to go through this again"...and he was right.

(((((((((zoo))))))))))