Quote:
Originally Posted by SophiaG
OH and another thing has occured to me. When you were going to therapy and your husband was complaining that you were "changing" and that it cost too much.
He was trying to get you not to go because he was afraid he'd lose control of you and wouldnt be able to manipulate/abuse you anymore.
That's all that was. 
He was upset that his little world in which he takes advantage of you would come crumbling down and he couldnt stand the thought of you actually standing up to him, looking him square in the eye and saying "I'm not taking your **** anymore!" (which really is what should happen)
You really are too good for all of this crap he makes you put up with. |
TY Sophia,
I know you are right. But I keep back sliding, you know one step forward 2 steps back! I just need to get away from him for good. I'm just afraid that I won't be strong enough to do it on my own. I have been married since the age of 19, and this is my third time around. But now I am 52 years old and have been through so much that I just don't know how to live on my own.
I do sit and imagine what it would be like,
hmm. It would be nice to not have to worry! My stomach is in such a knot, that it pains me. My anxiety is so much so that it actually put me in the hospital for 2 days, thought I was having a heart attack!
I'm so isolated, that I have no one to really talk to except my mother-in-law, and even though she adores me, I can't lay these things on her. She just turned 70, and it would probably do more harm than good anyway.
So, I put up with this because.... lets face it I'm just plan scarred. I fight with myself constantly. I find myself litterally walking in circles. Then I yell at myself.."what in hell are you doing, get it together".
He does these little things to let me know what he wants done without speaking to me. We never really talk unless it's about his job!! Things like putting the vacume cleaner in front of the bed so I will walk into it. Meaning I should run the vacume. Or putting the clothes hamper on the landing, meaning do my wash. Or leaving the toilet seat up, meaning clean the bathroom. Or he'll leave little notes taped to the coffe pot.
I really need to stop complaining and do something about this. I know that I am the only one that can help myself, but when I start to think about what needs to be done in order to get out, it just overwhelms me so I don't do anything...Sorry for rambling on and on. Just need to get this out.
Thanks for listening/reading!
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