I had my PTSD breakdown/breakthrough, too, after retirement. I worked in health care where the stress level was high and gave reason to keep the adrenaline pumping like in childhood. I never "did drugs or alcohol." But I did mainline adrenaline as much as any addict.

So I think JD is correct in the earlier post about brain chemistry and adrenaline. I began studying what happens when adrenaline stays in the system too long; it is only suppose to be in the body for 6 seconds to initiate fight or flight. Otherwise one adrenaline encounter takes 6 hours to process out. Cortisol buildup plays havoc with the body. Everything is affected, and aging begins to show the wearing down.

I began medication, which helped a ton. How foolish I was for not getting on it sooner, but like everything else, anxiety was making my decisions and doing everything on my own (no nurturing from parents as a child) stoked the fires of the anxiety. I am so thankful to my brain for finally "crashing my system," so I would HAVE to get help in dealing with what was to come. The idle on my engine was running too hard and fast, and then one swallow of Celexa kicked the roar down to a purrrr. Yes, I felt that within 2 hours after my first pill. And I went into the med program not believing in "magic pills" and thinking it would take 6 weeks of hell before getting any relief. How wrong I was!

I slept through the night that night and have ever since. After years of sleeping issues, from bed wetting to parental alcoholic fights and all that comes with a home like that within childhood upbringing, a new way of sleeping became my normal. Ahhhhh. Sleep restores the immune system, regulates blood pressure, and feels great if the nightmares are controlled. Celexa feeds my brain something it didn't have before. My brain needs the SSRI relief!

The chronic PTSD is managed now. But what a change in lifestyle! Yoga, meditation, less on my calendar, reevaluation of events, etc. I listen to my body and can "read" the signs and go with the flow--instead of going along with the cultural current when it's not for me.

I know what adrenaline dumping "feels like" (top of ears turn red, heart races, breathing steps up, engine races) and also know I can no longer control it without meds. So I work with my body and my meds instead of trying to be Tarzen. I'm also in cognitive behavior training to reestablish a new and better way of thinking before choosing a direction. Very empowering.

And to those who don't understand that I am not as available as I once was to community service...well, I say, "Like me as a person or find someone else to be your 'producer.'" Words I've needed to say since I was a little girl when I had to do things far too advanced for my age and body distresses because my parents had their own unsettled mental issues. Having to be responsible is far different than having the am "ability" to respond. Quite a difference. That's what is so great about retirement!!!

I am 63. It's never too late to relate to one's self in a new and better way. Ellen