Hi, NF - I'm so sorry to hear about all that you are going though. You sound like you're making the best out of a bad situation. I commend you on that. I pray that your situation changes quickly and for the better real soon. I haven't been around much - dropped off the grid and down as low as I could get. I don't do drugs or drink - just really, really depressed and down. Hopefully I'll climb back up again. It's going to be a long haul this time. I wish you the best and love reading your postings. ((((HUGS))))