Wishing for a life raft right now because I feel like I'm drowning. Just when I get my head above the water something pulls me back under. I'm so tired of being a yo-yo, I'm so tired of being misunderstood by my husband who has decided he'd rather look at local porn girls than me. We have a 3 yr old son who I stay home with but I'm scared of how my mood shifts are affecting him and I'm afraid of losing control. I am seeing a new T tomorrow for the first time in over a year, have been through a lot in the last 8 months and thought I was doing good, then my meds kicked me into a horrible mania, so meds have been changed. As of yesterday I have thought about giving in to the depression, I try really hard to pull myself up and out of it, but then every time I see my husband I feel like I'm getting slapped in the face with his inconsiderateness(not sure if thats a word..lol). I'm about to graduate with a 2-yr deg in psych..lol..some therapist I'll make. I am not me right now, this is the depressed me, the hopeless me, the extreme me, the me that no one wants around. The me I hate. Maybe one day I'll find my way out of this hole....How do I know when I should be hospitalized?