Parks: thanks for such an insightful and enlightening response. You touch on so many areas which resonate with me. I feel for your loss of your confidant and friend.
I have seen 7 different therapists during my illness. They have ranged from psychiatrists - gps - psychologists - counsellors...
Only two have been at all useful, the counsellor from uni who helped me with anxiety and depression (and sui thoughts) but the time that he had available was limited as it was a free service for students... and later... I found a great counsellor, we were able to relate well with each other and he understood me, he is great at reading body language, at getting what I am saying when I can't find the words or can't say the words, sometimes I really felt that he could see into my heart...
(Also we had common religious views: I found this to be important as previously I wasn't sure how valid the therapists views were to my beliefs... which doesn't matter for coping strategies/thought processes, but when you are challenging how you see yourself and the world I needed someone who's views I respected and agreed with.)
Together we journeyed through so much of who I was/am, what I thought, why I responded in different ways... It was a hard journey, at times we were gentle and trod carefully, other times we pushed through things in a way that left my soul bare and shattered. I really feel like I have come out the other side a new person - I no longer hate myself with furious intensity (it was pretty scary when I realised how much I hated myself), yes, there are still issues but I know that I can deal with them...
Have I mentioned, IT WAS REALLY HARD but so worth it!