Mel....nonono I didn't mean if a t responds they are not taking care of themselves. I was just saying that in my case I now know that emailing my t is ok. Because she takes care of herself. If she is too busy or thinks I'm being too demanding or whatever she will deal wirh it directly. She will not let me over extend her. I guess I like that I am not responsible for her keeping HER boundaries...if she replies its because she wants to not because she has to. That was all I wqa trying to say.