Hello ((((dwood))))

It's sad that you are so hurt. However it's a situation in hindsight you may have seen coming? Rather than let the kids work it out themselves every issue was turned into a "family conference" and you were not a family. Kids spat when there is jealousy and you said yourself they were petty incidents.

I have a grandson and my partner has a daughter who is chronically manipulative of her father, but I was aware of it and didn't buy into it; I let him sort it out himself. She even said to him that he was "her" daddy (she's 14 nr 15), not my grandsons dad. We made it very clear that my grandson didn't want my partner as his father, but that didn't stop her agitating at every opportunity to break us up and recently she went too far and he refuses to speak to her or her mother (though he's refused to speak to the mother for over 2 years now). This played out its natural course and my partner and I are still very happy and still very together.

As far as your bf was concerned he saw something there that bothered him so he didn't introduce you to his daughter for at least a year after you introduced your son. It could well be because he knew his daughter would have broken you up much earlier.

He was probably feeling very guilty at leaving his daughter and being a part time father, and he is going to put her feelings first if she says to him "Woody doesn't like me and is always gettng me into trouble with you"...that may not be how you see it but it sure as heck how she'll see it.

I think too that he would be insulted if your son (though he has every right), didn't want to be there when she was. He will be defensive in that, that is normal behaviour, though not good behaviour.

I think you're well rid of the both of them to be honest, because a man who won't stand on his own principle rather than see that he may be being immature is not someone I would consider ready to be in a long term relationship...it could be too that his daugher is the one he uses as an excuse not to get too serious with anyone...?

I know your heart is broken but I think if he will refuse you support and help because of his daughter then there is something radically wrong and is a situation you are better off without...

I really hope you are able to heal from this quickly and move on. Maybe some time alone with your son is the ideal thing?