So I ended up going back to bed... which felt really good but hope it doesn't end up just making it even harder to sleep tonight.

But when I got up, I found an email from the program... at 11:30 they checked in because I was not there, asking if it was a transportation problem or if I was OK. They did say they were having some transportation problems in the morning. And they said that if I didn't show up again tomorrow they would send someone to my house to check up on me.

My take on this is that the problems of the last two weeks were that of transportation problems, plus the transortation was supposed to be taking me to screening, so since I am working with two different departments (the diversion program and the partial hospital program itself) there was really nothing concrete to say when I was or was not supposed to be there.

Now that I have been actually attending the program, it looks like they flag it the first time that I don't show up. And they know that they can't call and have to email me... which is good and I know most agencies really aren't set up for that.

There is definitely a problem with the transportation. They use a service, so they and I are at the mercy of the service. If I don't get picked up tomorrow, and they "send someone to check up on me" then those people will give me personal transportation to the program (that's what they did the first day that I actually started). So this is good.

My only problem is that my big trigger here was the repossesion of my car. It does not feel good being reminded of how difficult it is going to be having to rely on others for transportation. But that has to do with everything in general (groceries, laundry [I have exactly one pair of socks left]) etc.