Thing is though, in the beginning of therapy we perhaps have to gage how we feel about our therapist along simpler lines? For me the first yr or 2 was basically making me safe, to much "pushing" or whatever in the beginning would have been dangerous, so we use our instincts, 2ndly, I'm always wearly of self aggrandizing therapists that have written lots of books and blogs about how wonderful they are, thats a red flag for me.