Kotomi, I think a lot of people wonder what happiness is. I know I do. My boyfriend asks me if I'm happy and I look at him like what is happy. I also think some of it has to do with how you were raised. There wasn't a lot of joy/happiness in our household. So I don't think I ever knew what it was like to be surrounded by happiness. I don't know if that makes sense. I'm still trying to find what happiness is for me. I wish you luck in your journey