Wow amandalouise... thank you thank you, for taking the time to give so much info.
It was truly helpful and does calm the nerves that jump inside me.

"appearing" to resemble a child is a trigger for me, it seems....... ugh....

sometimes I think I'm from another planet, as I struggle to understand what others regard as so simple/straight forward.
then I think people get mad at me...or I offend them... which is never ever my intention (how can fins be so stupid? people aren't that stupid )

like I told T. -- "I think I was raised by wolves" so so many ordinary things I missed learning/understanding as a kid/teen.
When one is in a constant state of just coping-- that is what one focuses on--coping from day to day-- not whether they like hair or no hair......

thanks again for your answer...... this was really bothering me....
Now-- not so much. phew... feels better.... *sigh*....

and thank you all that replied too-- I appreciate all views and have a better understanding.

fins