How would you define a feminist? Would you call a person who actively defends the rights of women and demands complete equality a feminist? Or even just someone who isn't necessarily active but expresses their opinions or goes on an occasional rant about women's rights?

I ask because my ex (a woman) told me tonight that my feminism pisses her off. I have never in my life considered myself a feminist. I feel fairly strongly about certain issues, like how society tends to blame rape victims and domestic abuse victims for their own abuse. And on occasion, when I hear about some kind of crime or violence against a woman on the radio or the subject is brought up, I speak my opinions. Sometimes I get vocal and even angry. But I don't make it a part of my daily life. The subject hadn't even crossed my mind in weeks until my ex brought it up, and she only did so because I mentioned my interest in politics. (How the two are related eludes me.)

So ladies, what do you consider feminism to be and who do you consider to be a feminist? (I'm not asking for specific names, just the characteristics that define a feminist).

And also, is having opinions such as mine something that pisses a lot of other women off, or is my ex just one of a few? (In other words, should I tone it down and relax?)