Quote:
Originally Posted by CindyLuWho
So, I am 15 years divorced from a transgendered man. He has had surgery and now lives as a woman. Today I was faced with his online presence and PANICKED!
I realized I have been living in fear for FIFTEEN YEARS that he will try to contact me or to somehow touch my life. I know all the basics... the only power he has is the power I give him... He hasn't tried to reach me in 15 years, why would he now... The only one being hurt by this is me...
I avoid literature, movies, and discussions regarding transgendered people. I have a lot of gay friends, but I don't discuss sexuality with them.
I am in a loving, healthy relationship. He knows about my ex, but he is as surprised as I am to find that I am still so upset by him after 15 years.
And yet, I am still afraid. Has anyone else dealt with something like this? I don't want this guy having ANY power in my life.  |
Dear Cindy,
As some of the other posters have already said, there's
essentially nothing terrifying about a transgendered person, even if you've been married to him. (No, I'm not transgendered.) Thinking about the process it may well sound yucky, but it's not directed
against you. If I were you, I'd find a compatible therapist and work with him or her to find out just why you're affected in this way. For all I know (which isn't much) there may be support groups out there for people who are/were spouses of people who then transgendered themselves. I'm not a professional psychologist, but this sounds like an issue that you can get over, transcend, by working it out with someone who knows how to help people do that. Transgendered people, to me and many others, are just very sad situations that don't relate to us.
__________________
We must love one another or die.
W.H. Auden
We must love one another AND die.
Ygrec23