((((feary))))

I think we have all been really supportive of you; we've all been here, answering your posts, picking you up, being as friendly as friends who are right there next to you.

We care, we really do or we wouldn't be here to support you. Sometimes we have to pull ourselves out of the deepest and darkest of chasms.

I think all of us have been there I know I have; I've had my PC family help me out of anxiety attacks, panic attacks, depressions so deep I could hardly open my eyes to look at a blue sky because it made me sad. Depression isn't rational nor is anxiety and panic, or any of the mental illnesses we face every day; every one of us on PC faces these same monsters as you.

From the time I left my ex husband I have not seen or spoken to any of my children and only one of my grandchildren. Not one of his friends have spoken to me since either. He had such a high public profile that everyone thought he was a god. They had no idea of what our life together was like, but they chose to support him not me.

I've had to walk away from everything. Yes I was a mess yes I had a breakdown but I did it. My heart is always heavy because of my kids and my grandkids; they were all grown up with marriages and kids of their own but it still hurt. I recently had to walk away from my chronically dysfunctional family of drug addicts, alcoholics and abusers.

It takes time to heal and to begin looking if you are brave enough, for someone else. It takes time to regain strength and face a new world. It takes time for the pain to stop and to see the wounds disappear just under the surface. But we do it.

Why do we do it? Because we are strong, we are resillient and we are even in the smallest amounts proud. After we have been laid bare we still have enough pride to eventually pull ourselves together and start again. Sure things will be different, and not the same as they were, but we have an opportunity to make them better. And if you want things to be better feary then you have to make it happen.

Stop blaming, stop self pity, stop all the negatives and see at first one positive in your life and focus on that; see then a second positive and focus on that one too. And so on...Once you allow yourself to look around you you will see that there IS something good there. Yes at the moment you feel alone, but look around you, look at your computer screen...we are all here and we haven't walked away from you...and we won't.

It's time feary to get out of the mire and clear yourself off and choose a direction to go in. Get yourself strong and get organised...We're here to support you in doing this,

Rhiannon