This can be part of the illness for me as well and I agree with everyone else to contact your pdoc, crisis line etc. etc. Based on your post I would even suggest going inpatient. I am so, so, so glad that I wasn't successful and had wished I had told someone what was going on. Please don't suffer in silence, the illness is lying to you.
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Favorite book on bipolar "Living with Someone who is Living with Bipolar Disorder" by Chelsea Lowe, 2010
Check out my blog The Bipolar Roller Coaster: http://blueoctober.psychcentral.net/
New Post March 23 "New Therapist"
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