How do I know?

If I am or if I’m not one of the “not very nice” posters some people periodically refer to in a cryptic manner? Do I unknowingly say things that trigger or hurt others, am I unsupportive? (I’m referring to posts where known members talk about other known members, but just don’t name them)

This is so important to me as I fear being thought of as “mean” or “bad”, it would almost be better, for me anyway, if people would name the one/s to which they are referring to—then I wouldn’t keep wondering if I said something triggering or offensive. If I was the one that was offensive-I would probably leave right away, feeling bad about causing someone pain. But at least I would know—instead of it becoming harder to post for fear I may upset someone and not know it- the NOT knowing is the worst!

Please let me explain a bit….. as a child, some abuse happened where I saw it but I didn’t tell—I felt I couldn’t (at least in my child mind)—so afraid, telling would ruin too many lives. So I kept it hidden, which only made me feel like an accomplice. There were other types of abuses but I’ve recently been wondering if it’s these particular memories that might be keeping me from posting as much as I would like. I grew to think that a part of me was a “hidden” bad person.

The posts that refer to someone- but not named, thus a “hidden” bad person, leave me wondering—is it ME-- the “hidden” bad person – once again—just like when I was little?? How can one know?

mandy