feary, keep on trying don't give up. It's not only important to heal for the present, it's for your future too. Take it from an elder, there are many issues you will have to face as life goes on. You must practice being strong now to build up reserves for the future. You must fight to be well. I think it's very good that you went out for dinner even if you dined alone, a first step; at least you were out among people. You've heard me say before, I'm a believer in changing your focus. I think volunteering would be an excellent idea for you. Because you choose your days, it wouldn't interfer with your childrens' schedule. Hospitals are always looking for volunteers, and there's many people to meet and start conversations with. Good luck dear, you have so many friends here wishing you well, including myself.