I don't know; I think you may have a lot of resistance built up from what your parents did to you such that you have difficulty even thinking of your children's mother as an individual. She wasn't what you "wanted" when you were 17 and you haven't wanted to look at her any other way than you did then. I don't blame you but I wonder at all your dating and not meeting someone you would rather be with? I would decide to go one way or the other.

I would also try to talk to your children's mother, as an individual, one who has had her life perhaps even more affected by this than you were? She was not educated at all and has not been out in the world at all and has "no one". Why would she "go", WHERE would she go? It would be all humiliation for her and she has no resources at all except you.

I would not stay with your children's mother if you truly dislike being with her, if you have ever taken a good look at her and talked to her, as a person. I would arrange with her, if you can afford it, to split into two lives, to give her and you a chance to do other things that you each might like to do. I would not abandon her though, would try to help her, as she would like to be helped, maybe with schooling or some craft she enjoys or with moving somewhere she has friends or family who would love to have her. I would work on splitting up together so you don't have any sense of guilt when it is finished.