Brandy,

First let me say welcome to psych central. I can't even begin to tell you how many good people there are here. People who may be now or may have been before in the same shoes you are walking in right now. Many here understand and are more than willing to help you in any way they can.

I understand what you're saying. I'm no stranger to the place you are in or the way you are feeling. Not too long ago I was living in Michigan with no family and no friends and suffering from severe bipolar disorder. Moving away from my family and friends didn't solve my problems. I must agree with sky in that moving doesn't solve problems because they are ours. For that same reason, you still feel the same way now as you did before your "attempt." I felt the same way after mine. Suicide doesn't solve the problem therefore after the attempt, the problem still exists. I think that some may SEEM to recover briefly because of the immediate care they are given. But after, when left to their own devices, many fall into the same traps they fell into before that lead them down that dark road to begin with. For many, the problem never truely goes away, but through therapy and meds (if needed), we can learn to live a happy and peaceful live in spite of the things that plague us. I am terribly sorry that you are feeling this way and even more sorry that you had a bad experience with therapy, but based on your last post, I assume that you're willing to give it another try. Dear, that can be the hardest step and you appear to be well on your way to taking that step. That's something to feel good about and I hope that you do, in fact, feel good about that. Since you are in a new area, I would suggest looking in the yellow pages. You can find many therapists in there. Before you decide on one, I would recommend researching their credentials and choosing one that you feel you would be comfortable with. One thing to remember about therapy is that, in a sense, it's like dating. Just like some people date many before finding a person that fits, you might have to try a few different therapists before finding one that meets your personal needs. Just don't give up. And if things get bad, we are here to help if we can. I wish you good luck and hope very much that things start looking up for you soon. Take care.

Ry