Hello there!

The first thing that jumped out at me is "This man lives an inauthentic life". In other words, your measure of how things are is based on the terrible experiences you have encountered with your parents. That is your only measuring stick on how to base your own relationships. I am not surprised that you do not understand love in its entirety, nor understand its pure face.

The fact that you question and seek answers is a VERY good thing. It means you seek insight which is the start of healing and forgiveness. In order to break the cycle and avoid your own self-fulfilling prophecy, you must start being honest with yourself and forgive yourself for not "loving" in the way you want. Would you think I was a little off my rocker if I said that you are on the path to love anyway? By acknowledging your TRUE needs and wants and forgiving yourself when you can't, is the path of enlightenment and wisdom. It is not easy at all and it can be very painful on this path, but you will get what you need and want, because you DESERVE it.

Why do you not compliment yourself? Why do you think you cannot love? Is it because your parents did not validate you? You are loved and you matter, regardless of the past, regardless of how others may have treated you. The more you hold on to others versions of how you should live your life, the less authentic you will become, which will lead to great unhappiness. Take back the power by accepting unconditionally others terrible transgressions, forgiving them for it, and making your OWN joyful life. You do not need others to tell you that you are worth it, you only need tell yourself and BELIEVE it.

Like I said, it is not easy, and the path can be very dangerous terrain, but you are not alone, you are a precious human being who deserves to experience joy, as we all do.

Keep going dear person. You are on the path to true love and joy. Keep talking.

In stillness,

Michah