OK, depressed and urges to sui but instead I set up an emergency appt. with my pdoc and he increased the Seroquel and added Pristiq. Maybe this will work or at least help. But frankly, I don't expect it to. Or at least it won't last if it does help. Nothing ever does, it's been this way for 20 years now. So yeah, the urge is there, but at least I won't do anything till after my T gets back next Thursday. So no worries, I am safe right now. I'm hoping I don;t have to go inpatient. If I do, my partner is going to be really pissed.