I'm doing better today. I went to her house last night to see her. She just got out of the hospital, so I took her some things that she needed. I agree that the friendship thing is hard, especially since the other woman had everything spread all over town in less than 24 hours. We live in such a small community, so everyone knows the story. It was hard to go into the store and be asked why I'm buying her Mountain Dew, since we broke up. I lost it.
I think the visit with her last night was good, though. It was hard, but I kinda saw her in a different light. I didn't see her as my "night in shining armour", I looked at her and realized that she is just as manipulative as her ex. I realized that she has been picking fights trying to get me to break up with her for a long time, and when I confronted her with it, she just sat there and didn't deny it. Believe it or not, that actually helped. I still love her, though, but I'm sure that fades with time, to be that little spot in the back of your heart that you look at and smile every once in awhile.
I'm reaching out in the community and trying to get a bunch of people together to go out once a month. My life has been so wrapped up in her, because of the cronic pain she's been in for months, that I don't even know how to make friends anymore.
I'm doing MUCH better today. Still hurting pretty bad, but better.
If you want to know our whole story, I've been blogging for a little while about us, since she decided to move out. The blog is here in PC under justjoanie it's called, "learning to dance in the rain"