My husband had his friend and mentor go through the operation and become a woman. He had a wife and two children. My husband is still sensitive about it, remembers the first time he met the man as a woman and how he didn't know how to act, what to say. I cannot imagine how difficult it would be for a former wife!

I think it is very hard when anyone near us changes so drastically; were your situation mine I imagine I would be unconsciously afraid of my own changing against my will, of becoming something I was not familiar with and couldn't cope with. I don't find it surprising at all that you are still so traumatized. I would go see a therapist and see if they could help me feel less anxious around this area of my experience. Avoiding it is causing most of the fear I think?