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BamaSurvivor said:
But I'd rather be physically fit than how I was looking.

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That statement jumped right out at me when I read your post. Whether or not you have an eating disorder doesn't seem nearly as important as addressing the distorted thinking of that one statement. Think about it...do you really believe that you are more "physically fit" using meth than not using it?

Eating disorder or not, you have bought into one of the most common body distortions there is...that being thinner means being healthier, regardless of anything else. The truth is, you will be healthier and *more* physically fit if you stop using and maybe gain back that 15 pounds than if you continue to use. And I don't know you personally, but I've known plenty of people in similar circumstances, and I'll bet that people will think you look better, too. Because what you're doing to lose weight really ends up making people look wasted and sick, not physically fit at all.

I've heard many people talk about recovery from alcohol and drug addiction, and the general wisdom seems to be that it's important to attack the addiction first, and worry about the food second. I know that can be really hard to do, but you need to get priorities straight. It's not worth continuing to use something that is going to kill you for vanity.

If you are really concerned about being fit, then why don't you deal with fitness rather than weight? Work on adding activity to your day, take walks, do yoga, start an exercise program, go swimming at the Y, anything that gets your body moving. It will help you be really fit, and not just this fake "fitness" your are imitating by starving yourself. And, as an added bonus, it will also help with your recovery.

Good luck,
Jo